Convicted!!
The other day they had the honor roll ceremony at my children elementary school. Since this is my son, Luke's, first year with letter grades I wanted to be there for his first honor roll ceremony. It was really nice to watch and he was just so proud of himself. When they all gathered on stage at once Luke was in the back and stood on his tippy toes and lifted his certificate up above his head. Luke is usually one to just hide in the background. You know this brought tears to my eyes.
Afterward I went out to my car. We have purchased a little Nissan Versa for me to drive when the kids are not all with me. It is blue with black tinted windows. Looks to me more like something a young person would drive. But it is fuel efficient and therefore good for our family.
Once in my car I did all my checks and made sure I had my seat belt on. I put the car in drive, turned my head to check if it was clear and slowly started to move. As I was taught, as I started to move I did a double check. Sure enough there was a car there so I stepped on my break right away so I never entered the roadway. I looked at the lady in the car as she drove past me and the look she had on her face... well... let's just say that it elicited in me thoughts of such awful insults that I found myself getting angry feeling lower than the lowest. I even had a the childish notion of showing her "Tall man." Thankful I didn't as anytime I have ever succumbed to that urge I have always ended up feeling awful and ashamed of myself.
I pulled out and started to drive. I was so angry and upset by this woman. I justified to myself that I hadn't even left the parking spot. That I only rolled a very very short distance before the double check that had caught the first glimpse of her vehicle. I thought about the stupid blind spot in my car. And then... I thought about how she just gave that look because I had startled her with the thought that my car was going to pull out. That is when it dawned on me that I had cast that very same look at people for the very same reason.
Convicted is what I think they call it when you realize that you are guilty of something you are upset with someone else for doing. So I drove along thinking of how many times I had cast that look and I vowed that I would do my best never to do that again because I never wanted to make anyone feel the way that woman had made me feel... EVER!! And then comforted myself with the thought that this woman was giving that look to my black windows and not me as she couldn't see me.
Feeling a bit better, I drove home and picked up the package I had forgotten to take with me so that I could go to the post office. As I was driving out of our neighborhood a truck with a trailer full of lawn supplies started to pull out in front of me. He pulled half way out into the road. In an instant I remembered and instead of shooting him that awful look I smiled and waived at him so that he would know I understood we are all human.
I can only pray that I will be able to catch myself as well every time. I fear, due to the fear that this kind of thing brings up when you think someone is going to possibly cause you to get into an accident, that there may be times I don't catch myself quick enough. But I will be very grateful to God for every time I do.
I was raised that you treat people the way you want to be treated. Thought it was a biblical command for many years. The importance of this was not lost when I found out that it wasn't. It is a part of who I am. It is why I hold the door for people. It is why I keep my children quiet when we go out to eat. It is why I get out of the left lane of traffic when I am not passing. It is why I donate to every change jar I pass when I have change in my pockets... even if it is just pennies. It's why I smile at people and say "Hello." It's why I go in the entrance and go out the exit even if it is inconvenient. It's why I let the guy with five items go ahead of my full basket even when I am in a hurry. I could go on... but won't for the very same reason. :o)
So the next time someone innocently starts to pull out in front of you, or walks behind your car just as you think you are going to back up or pulls up and stops behind you as they want to wait for that parking space that is one or two spaces closer and didn't notice your backup lights or whatever the case may be... consider how you would want to be treated if you were in that position. The next time you want to send someone that look that reduces them to ash... remember how you would feel if the tables were turned. Be convicted!! :o)*
